Welcome to Big Sister

I had a nervous breakdown in February 2017. Since then I’ve learned a lot about myself and my family. I’ve also learned a lot about mental illnesses, personality disorders, addiction, homelessness and childhood trauma. Then between February 2017 and now, my estranged father died and my younger sister was murdered.

I’m not sure what this blog will end up being. I want it to be a book. I think this story is interesting. It’s about a young Polish girl that marries a philandering Irishman when she comes to this country. It’s about men from different generations and on different sides of my family growing up without their fathers. It’s about alcoholism. It’s about childhood trauma and homelessness. Family secrets that aren’t so much secrets as they are just normalizing of very serious circumstances. It’s about the generations of childhood trauma and untreated mental illness that lead to the struggles of myself and my 3 younger sisters.

My trauma therapist recommended I read The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls within three sessions of meeting me. She said she recommends it a lot to patients with unhealthy families of origin. The dynamic between parents like in the book sends a lot of people therapy. My specific story was the most similar to Jeanette Walls’, though, she said. After reading it I commented to her that I wanted to know what kind of therapy Jeannette Walls did to get over her traumatic childhood. What medications or drugs did she take. My therapist said “She wrote a book. She took control of her story.”

This blog is me doing that. Let’s see where it goes.

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