This is repost from my Facebook page from February 2019:
My therapist had me read The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls for homework (PS if your therapist doesn’t give you homework, ask for it. If they don’t, find a new therapist.). She thought, because of my background, I’d relate to it. My family’s situation didn’t last nearly as long as the Walls’ and wasn’t as extreme but yes, I did relate. Some of it was so similar. It almost seemed like fiction. I didn’t cry reading it. I almost felt numb. Depersonalization is a word I realized applies me and to the way I think and feel and talk about that time in my life. It’s what caused me to not really understand or give credit to that experience for the way I am. The effects of that time, even though it was mostly over by the time I was 5, are long lasting. I have memories of those times and even if I didn’t, it was still damaging. To go through such instability at such a young age actually damages the brain. It’s damage that won’t heal. I have to just find a way to cope with it. The first step was a year and a half with a great cognitive behavioral therapist. This next step is with a trauma therapist (the one that had me read this). It’s really really hard.
On a lighter note – Brie Larson plays the main character in the movie version and also Captain Marvel. I told my therapist that this means I’m basically Captain Marvel. The most powerful being in the Marvel Universe.