Another gem from my trauma therapist – the difference between shame and guilt. Shame is the feeling that you are bad. Guilt is the feeling that your actions are bad. A normal amount of both is necessary to live in world with others. They keep a person (most of us 😉 ) from scratching theirContinue reading “Shame vs Guilt”
This pandemic has been tough on me. It’s been tough on everyone in different ways. I try hard to not shame myself into thinking my struggles are not valid. We moved during this. Not that it matters but it was never our intention to move during a global pandemic. As the world closed down weContinue reading “COVID and OCPD”
Four years ago I had a nervous breakdown. It was the best thing that could have happened.
I didn’t do normal kid rebellious stuff. I didn’t sneak out, I wasn’t on the phone late. I didn’t really go out with friends much at all. I was an easy teenager. I made good grades, felt bad when I didn’t. I was a Girl Scout. But there were warning signs. There had to be.Continue reading “Help”
I relate so hard to Randall Pearson on This Is Us. From the stuff with his dad, his family, his need to succeed, his breakdowns, his anxiety. He’s textbook Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder. Just like me. His conversation with Kate at the cabin in this week’s episode hit me hard. I know he was talkingContinue reading “This is me”
I don’t have friends. Not real ones. I don’t trust I guess. I’m not capable of being a good friend. I don’t reach out. I wish I did. I don’t have anyone but my husband and therapist to really confide in. They both analyze everything I say. I think this will be just be howContinue reading “Lonely”
This is repost from my Facebook page from February 2019: My therapist had me read The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls for homework (PS if your therapist doesn’t give you homework, ask for it. If they don’t, find a new therapist.). She thought, because of my background, I’d relate to it. My family’s situation didn’tContinue reading “The Glass Castle”
I had a nervous breakdown in February 2017. Since then I’ve learned a lot about myself and my family. I’ve also learned a lot about mental illnesses, personality disorders, addiction, homelessness and childhood trauma. Then between February 2017 and now, my estranged father died and my younger sister was murdered. I’m not sure what thisContinue reading “Welcome to Big Sister”